Top Ten Unattractive Things “SOME” Black Women DoApril 4, 2011
These are not isolated to black women of course but I do see plenty of black women guilty of these. You don’t have to be rich to exercise, dress decent, eat healthy, etc. so I don’t want to hear that I ain’t got enough money for that.
1) Weaves (especially blonde)
Why do black women want to be white? Because confused black men want to date white women? So you think all black men want white women so to get a black man you have to look like a white woman. That shit in your head disgusts me. That ain’t black and you ain’t either if you wear it. Your hair is beautiful the way it is as long as you stop killing it with the white man’s poison.
2) Bad vaginal odor
This may go without saying but it don’t go without smelling. There are many reasons a woman may have a malodorous vagina. It could be diet. It could be a yeast infection. It could be an STD and on and on. I’m not saying that all women need to douche. It’s your body so you can do what you want. A natural sex smell is fine but funk is just funk. A lot of black women, and black people period, eat such unhealthy food it is no wonder we don’t smell like the Indians we complain about at work. No matter how you slice it I don’t want to be close to NO female with a funky cold medina.
3) Ghetto names (not their fault but still……)
All these -isha names are just stupid. They have no basis at all in African history. Now some people say since we’re African American then we are just doing our own thing. There ain’t no such thing as no African American. American means white. You ain’t white. American means citizen. You ain’t no citizen because citizens have rights and blacks don’t. Choose a real African name if you want something afro-centric, not something that the Wayans Brothers can make fun of on a comedy show.
4) Cursing and loud talking
We all know these sisters so not much needs to be said because they have said it all several times and then some for extra measure. The vile filth that flows from their mouths is like a river of feces. Don’t try telling them to shut up and having some respect for themselves either. Then you unleash a tsunami worse than the one in Japan. Sometimes I see them walking down the street yelling about something trying to get attention. I guess if your booty shorts and cleavage doesn’t do it you have to try something else, especially if you don’t have no booty or cleavage. I’m gonna come out with a human muzzle made of ass skin so that these women can wear some ass for all the times they tell people to kiss their ass. You might want to get a lip condom for that too.
5) Calling cellulite thickness
I love thick women. Boyyyyyyyyyy I loves me some thick women but let me explain what thick is. Thick means you got some meat on your bones and you got curves to accentuate that. These days when black women say thick it’s just straight up fat with cellulite. Oh yeah they wrap it up in some Saran Wrap to hold it up until they get naked after the club close but you can’t hide the truth from gravity forever. Here’s an example: If you’re 5’2″ and you weigh 130lbs with a 36B-26-38 body then you thick as a tick but you also got to carry yourself well. If you’re 5’2″ 150lbs with a 40D-36-42 body then you fat. What’s so hard about that? I know a lot of men out there, especially black men trying to prove their manhood when they ain’t got none, will fuck anything that moves and tell you that you’re the sexist thing walking the earth. They are just telling you what you want to hear sisters. That shit is nasty. Word is boom thang.
6) Long toenails
I don’t know where this one came from but it needs to go back there and stay for all eternity. I like some long sexy nails with the little designs on ’em and what not but long toenails too? Come on sisters. You know who you are. You trying to be Wolverine except using your feet instead of your hands. Maybe if they were retractable like Wolverine it would be ok but them things are lethal weapons in the bed. You could start a fire too……….or put one out.
7) Funk breath
I ain’t talking about a girl who has been drinking because drinking give all of us funk breath but some black women have the nerve to not brush their teeth in the morning and then get in your face with that weapon of mass destruction. This is such a turnoff because it shows that you either have halitosis, no not Halle Berry, or that you just don’t give a damn. Even women that forget to brush will stop at a drug store and get a cheap brush and a mini-tube of toothpaste to rectify the overnight bacterial damage. The only good thing about bad breath is that once I smell it I don’t have to worry about nothing else. Dismissed.
8) Not shaving
I don’t know if this is some feminist thing or if some women are just lazy but this ain’t Greece. Hairy armpits ain’t really even ok for men because it makes your deodarant wear off ten times as fast. Hair is a stank producer in a dark and moist environment. I know some women will say it’s their pussy and they can do with it as they please because that’s how God made it. Fine. You can sit at home on Friday night with God and your hairy pussy and armpits then. Shave your damn legs too. This ain’t fifth grade. You can be feminine without overdoing it. I know women get tired of having to look pretty for men all the time but if you want to keep us interested then it’s the price you must pay to deal with us visual creatures. We should do the same for you as well because I know women hate when a man goes down on them with a rough ass goatee. He may as well have glued sandpaper to his face. Do your duty fellas.
9) Hair lips
I saw a chick with the hair lips mustache the other day. It’s usually the light-skinned black women since it shows up better on them. One word. Shave. Another word. Electrolysis. How you gonna have a fuller mustache than the man? It looks like I could strike a damn match on that thing. It looks like you doing a Charlie Chaplin impression. Now I know you see that thing when you look in the mirror unless you’re blind so why you keep pretended that it ain’t there or that it’s invisible to black men. Some things cannot be covered up. They have to be rooted up and destroyed. Female mustaches fall into that category. Let it go too long and it might turn into a beard. Then you could use that hair on your head instead of that will ass weave trying to look like a white slut. Mustaches make women look like a cyclops and every time your mouth opens and closes it’s like you’re winking at us.
10) Colored (especially blue and green) contacts
Black people in general have dark brown eyes. Some have light brown eyes and a few have those devil eyes naturally……..very few. Why ya’ll puttin’ experimental contacts in your eyes about to go blind trying to look white? You know you got those at the corner store and it ain’t even your prescription. You just got a deal from some Asian lady who making a living conning black folk out of the little money we got. This especially goes for the darker sisters. You know that shit don’t match. You may as well wear an outfit with purple, orange and red. I ain’t gonna lie and say it can’t be cute if it matches your outfit but don’t put your eyesight in danger just to be cute. You only got one set of eyes. Your real eyes are already bomb-diggety. If a black man need to see some blue and green eyes then that ain’t a black man you need to be seeing. Peace.
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