Why I Dislike Marriage But Hate CheatersOctober 29, 2009
Let me be perfectly frank here. I hate marriage. I think it’s a deplorable institution that saps the spontaneity and excitement out of relationships that otherwise would be healthy long term commitments. Marriage is not sacrosanct or sacred. It is an invention of man. That means it is flawed in its very nature. It is not blessed by God and it does not require two believers to make it work. Of course the guilt of religion is always a useful tool for getting people to do the right thing for the wrong reason. To make matters worse marriage is a horrible deal for men these days. We can get sex without commitment because more and more of us are discovering that there are many more women who desperately crave sex than there are men who do the same. The media has lied to men and women alike. It tells women that they are nothing but a collection of body parts, mostly T&A. Then it tells men we basically have to pay for those body parts. At the same time it tells women to behave like men, which is not attractive to most men, and men to behave like women (aka metrosexuals). This is social engineering at its worst. The result is that the family institution is destroyed and the birth rates drop significantly (Malthusian depopulation) while at the same time increasing profits from an larger consumer base since not as many people are living together under one roof as one collective consumer.
Maybe it’s just me and my fear of commitment. WRONG!!!!! Most men do not have a fear of commitment. Men have a fear of commitment to the wrong woman who is not worthy of their commitment because we all know women drastically change once they get married and/or have children. Only God knows what will emerge in the wake of it all. That uncertainty coupled with the enormous financial responsibility and a judicial system that favors women in almost every instance will continue to keep men from walking that aisle. I knew I would never get married growing up when I saw the way my parents interacted. They had some good times but much of it was bad too. My dad was a bad communicator in relationships so he was largely to blame plus he was very traditional in his approach to household chores and raising the kids (me and my brother). I would be a great father if I decided to have a kid but I would never marry the mother. That gives them too much advantage and weaponry to use against men when things don’t go their way. Can’t we just admit in 2009 that men and women both like having sex with multiple partners over a lifetime and not the same person ad infinitum. No love burns that hot for that long. We need to take a step back from our idealization of love and realize that it is a biological instinct for the propagation of the species and taking care of children until they can take care of themselves, just like many other animals on this planet.
In light of my distaste for marriage and making promises toward an afterlife we don’t even know exists I do have a bone to pick with those who do decide to get married. Get a divorce before you have sexual relations with people other than your spouse. Then it’s not cheating. It’s a simple concept but something about human nature makes the taboo of cheating sexually exciting and intriguing. We often say that the affair is filling a void in our lives. Well either fix it or get divorced but most people stay married and cheat because of the excitement factor plus you have a backup plan if the affair fizzles out like most do. If you want that type of excitement forever then you need to stay single and just have “friends with benefits” because marriage is not about excitement. That is the lie we tell ourselves. The truth is that marriage is boring to most people. Why? Because most people are boring and because doing to same thing over and over leads to boredom. Variety truly is the spice of life. My marriage would never become boring because I am not a boring person and I would never marry someone who had boring potential but I refuse to risk everything I’ve worked for in life just so some vengeful, spiteful woman can stick it to me and my kids for the rest of my life if things don’t work out as she hoped.
There used to be an alienation of affection law that said a spouse could sue the lover and recover financial damages for causing a marriage to fall apart. I believe most states have repealed those and they should have because why is it the lover’s fault? It’s the couple themselves that are to blame, both of them. If marriage was really holy then there would be no divorce. It isn’t so there is. You should be dragged to death for having sex with other people while under a legal and binding agreement not to. Everyone should get one chance and that’s it. You can get married and divorced as many times as you want without cheating but if you cheat you should be heavily fined and then barred from marriage for some period of time, maybe forever say after the third offense. Think about it. When you get caught speeding the cop usually writes you a ticket which you have to pay or you could end up getting arrested on a warrant and thrown in jail eventually. Why should marriage be exempt? Every stupid thing we do in life comes with a penalty or negative consequence. Cheating on your spouse should be no different. I say the first offense should be a fine of no less than five thousand dollars. That should go a long way toward helping the betrayed get back into the dating scene so they hopefully can avoid finding another scumbucket loser like the one they had. Is anyone out there listening? You cannot have your cake and screw it too.