White People’s Top Twelve Favorite ThingsAugust 24, 2009
12) Spice. White people evolved in colder climates so they didn’t have access to much useful plant life. Once they figured out how to build boats and sampled garlic they lost their damn minds!!! I know other races like spice but white people worship spice. They even started the East India Company to travel the world in search of spices. Unfortunately that turned out bad for the rest of us. The rest is history.
11) Dairy. White people love anything to do with milk, especially cheese. But I wouldn’t leave mayonnaise out. Undercover Brother was not a joke. I wonder if this also includes Milk of Magnesia.
10) Going to the beach. Ok I know other races like the beach but white people live for the beach. For a race of people that always feel like they have to control nature, nonwhites included, they sure are a aquamorous bunch. Yes I made up that word.
9) Sushi. And not just sushi. White people love rare and raw meat period. Why? You do see light-skinned Asians do this sometimes too so maybe it’s a light skin thing. Either way eating meat that is not thoroughly cooked can kill you and is dangerous and stupid. This is definitely one of those vestigial evolutionary things that white people don’t realize is still part of their psyche.
8) Camping/Hiking. White people love to go where no man has gone before and get killed by wild animals. Maybe I shouldn’t complain. If it was black people they’d claim it was survival of the fittest.
7) Reality TV. The thing I don’t understand is that if all of it is staged, and it is, how does that reflect reality? Maybe it’s the cheap, porn-style camcorders.
6) Dogs. I am an animal lover but I would never put the life of a dog before another human. White people do. They wanted to lynch Michael Vick literally. I guess they prefer friends that cannot talk back to them and are easy to control.
5) Getting high. White people love illegal and legal drugs more than any other race by a longshot. What is it that white people are trying to escape? The fact that you came from black people? Hmmm……..
4) Mimicking black culture. You see it all the time. White people trying to walk black. White people try to talk black. White people try to sing black. White people with rims on their cars. For a race of people that hate or at least fear black people they sure do a crummy job of acting like it.
3) Bicycling. White people will spend thousands on professional bikes and gear to look just like Lance Armstrong and Greg LeMond. Boggles my mind man.
2) Starbucks. White people love to pay too much money for everything and coffee is no exception. The recession has put the brakes on that so they only get double espressos now instead of triples.
1) Having sex with people outside of their race. Makes them feel like it’s ok to use racial epithets and like they really do deserve all the unearned privilege they inherited from their evil ancestors.